Last night I had a dream. I dream I was running away from something. What or who I was running away from I am not sure, but in the dream every time I turned a corner or went through a doorway to get away, I was faced with the presence of that person or thing that I was running away from. I woke up exhausted. I looked at the clock. 12:30. I had been asleep only about two hours. I think I must have been running away the entire time.
The next thing that came to my mind after waking up was the story of Jonah. God had told him to go preach in Ninevah and he did not want to so he ran away. You know the story. He ended up being swallowed by a whale until he agreed and did what God said. AAAHHH. Ok. Well I don't think that God is going to have me swallowed up by a whale if I don't talk about what He wants me to talk about but I knew what He, or my Higher Guidance System, wanted me to talk about.
Vows. I am resistant to talking about vows because vows are a part of our society. We vow to love and cherish that one we marry until death or even after death, in some cases. We vow things to God, to ourselves, to each other. We think that vows make our relationships with one another or to God more solid, more permanent. But I am reminded that Jesus said that we should not vow even to be at a certain place at a certain time because we are not guaranteed to even wake up tomorrow. Evidently Jesus took vows seriously and we should too.
Vows are a promise we make. When I was a child and in the church I made a vow to give my life to Jesus. My wants and needs then became subject to the will of Jesus and the things I read in the Bible. For the next thirty years or so I honored that vow. I did all those things I was supposed to do. I honored all the rules. I didn't even know what I wanted or needed because my needs and wants did not matter. What mattered was that my will was subject to the will of God. When I began to question my belief system, that vow was eventually broken, at least in my eyes. The rules became fuzzy and I needed time to reevaluate that original vow.
The first time I married I promised all those things we promise when we marry. But outside of that, and due to the insecurity of my husband who was constantly worried that I would leave him, I promised that I would never leave him unless he beat me or cheated on me, neither of which ever occurred. But eventually I realized that I had to break that vow or my soul would die.
Vows are very powerful and should be taken seriously. Yes, vows can be broken. But we have to do so consciously. We have to envision that vow and do some sort of ritual or ceremony to release ourselves from vows that we have taken. The easier thing to do is not make vows we cannot possibly keep. We don't know what things may change from day to day. We don't know if we will wake up tomorrow. What if we have promised something and that vow is taken into the afterlife? We may live the next two or three lifetimes struggling as a result of a vow. What if the vow is to love someone completely forever? What if we die, reincarnate, and the other person does not reincarnate into that lifetime? We will probably struggle in that lifetime with having a romantic relationship. We have already promised our heart to someone else who we don't even remember while living that particular life. Or what if the soul of that person reincarnates as someone with whom we cannot be in relationship, for one reason or another? As you can see, we cause endless suffering just by making vows we cannot possibly keep.
Here is a vow I think I can keep. I promise to love you as long as it is in the best interest of both of our souls growth to do so. When we have fulfilled our soul contract with each other, then I release you to whatever is best for you on your next phase of your life path. Anything else is based in fear. This can apply to a romantic relationship, a platonic relationship, even a relationship with a parent or child. This frees you and the other person to follow their life's path without fear. If you or someone you love is insisting that you promise to love them forever, that promise is based in fear, not love. Fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of the unknown.
Now can you see why I was resistant to writing this message? This applies to all areas of our lives. When I first got hired at the Post Office, I was not very good at my job. My boss would follow me around, hoping to catch me making a mistake. I was a mail carrier in Fairfax, and every day they would send me out on a different route. It took me forever to deliver the mail because I frequently got lost. One day my boss said to me, "You know, Joy, not every one is cut out to work at the Post Office." I replied to him, " You can fire me, but I will never quit." That was a vow. A vow I recently remembered. That vow may be preventing me from succeeding in other fields because I promised to never quit the Post Office.
Just for today, think about vows you have made. They often begin with.. never.... or always... ( I will never do such and such, or I will always do such and such).... these promises can never be kept. We are not promised tomorrow. We don't know what each day will hold or what will unfold.
The Angels have given me much more to say on this subject but I will save the rest for another day. I will give you a ritual to release yourself from harmful vows.
Not making vows to one another is not saying that you do not love the person who you are with. It means you love them more. You love them enough to allow them to walk their highest path without holding them to a promise to make you feel less insecure. It means you are allowing them to fly.
Let us love one another, but without restraint. Without those vows that we cannot possibly keep.