Do you think, wow that takes a lot of practice, determination, and stamina to accomplish such a feat! You go girl!
Or, do you think, this photo is exploiting to women. Pole dancing is demeaning to women and contributes to low self esteem in women who do not look like this?
How dare she post a photo like this in a spiritual blog!
Was your first response to the photo positive or negative?
If it was positive, YAY YOU!!!
Today's post is all about letting go of judgement.
Sometimes we are so accustomed to passing judgement we don't even realize we are doing it. We see a photo or hear a song on the radio or see something on television that elicits a specific emotional response.
That emotional response is a clue to us on an area of our subconscious we need to work on. Anytime we feel a negative emotional response based on something we see, hear, feel, smell, or taste, there is a clue that we have an unresolved issue that was just triggered by that emotional response.
For example, if seeing a woman pole dancing brings up within us the thought that this woman is being sexually exploited, we are saying that there is something wrong with the act of sex, or a particular aspect of the act of sex. We are assuming the woman is not enjoying what she is doing. We are projecting our feelings onto someone else.
If, however, we can look at this photo and say... that's impressive.. or.... if I tried, I could do that, then we are looking at the photo without judgement. Truth be told, there is no real sexual implication in this photo whatsoever.
What if we said, oh that makes people who are large feel bad about themselves.. it implies that everyone has to be thin to be acceptable..
We are assuming that large people feel bad about themselves. We are perhaps internalizing something we feel about ourselves.
One way to get to the core issue is to ask ourselves why the emotional response was triggered in the first place.
For example, if we thought to ourselves, this is not a spiritual photo, how dare she post this on a spiritual blog?
Perhaps we think that there are specific rules about what is and is not acceptable.
Because showing a woman half clad upside down on a pole is not acceptable or spiritual.
Because if I tried to do this and present myself as a spiritual person I would not be accepted.
Because I allow certain rules of society to dictate to me what is and isn't spiritual.
Because I am afraid of being rejected.
Because I am afraid of not being loved.
If we reduce all of our judgements down to the core issue, almost every time we can reduce it to a fear of some kind, and especially, the fear of not being loved.
What if we circumvented the whole process and just decided that no matter what, we would decide to love ourselves and do what gives us joy?
How freeing that would be!
The next time you are tempted to judge, think about this. WHY? Why do you feel this particular emotional response? Does it go back to something you were taught, something you experienced, something you were led to believe?
What about judging ourselves?
We do this every day.. I am not good enough. I am not smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, young enough, old enough, thin enough, I am not enough.
If this photo elicited a response that oh, I am not ..... enough, decide today to change that thought.
You are enough. You are completely loved. There is nothing to fear.
If we cease from judging, we become our own heros. We begin to create a utopia right here in our own skin.
Whether or not we can hang upside down on a pole half clad will not matter. We will honor the right for this girl to do it and feel wonderful about herself, to feel sexy, to feel accomplished, to feel joy. And we will feel joy about feeling good about ourselves no matter whether we can do a similar activity or not.
This is your assignment.
The next time you are tempted to judge someone or something, ask yourself why?
Get down to that core issue.
Let it go. Allow whatever sparked your judgement to go and just allow it to be.
Lately I have taken some time off from blogging, marketing, marrying people, and offering my services to the public. At first it was not really a voluntary vacation.
I was exhausted. Working at the Post Office, getting up early, then seeing clients or writing blogs or marketing myself all afternoon was taking its toll. I was no longer enjoying myself.
Yes, every morning I would get up and on the way to work, I would send out love and light to everyone who came to mind, offering my services to Spirit to whomever needed my help, whether it was spiritual help or maybe just they forgot to put a stamp on their letter. I was babysitting grandchildren, seeing clients after work, teaching classes on weekends, or performing weddings.
One morning I got up and I said to Spirit (and I believe also to my husband): so sorry. I am not available to be of service. I am exhausted. I need a break.
Sometimes we who are in the business of helping others forget that we have come into this world not just to be of service. We are here to experience joy and enjoy life!
I have come to learn that when Spirit tells us we need a break we better listen. If we don't then Spirit will turn circumstances around so that the break we take is not voluntary. For years my back would go out when I was in need of a break. I would find myself lying in the bed for sometimes up to two weeks, and then recuperating for up to three months. One morning, the last time my back went out, I said to Spirit, "can't you find some other way to get me to slow down? This is painful and I don't like it!" That was the last time my back failed me. Since then it has been other things.
I am finally taking breaks now before Spirit has to do it for me.
The word for today is... go out and do something fun!
If you are in the position, like I am here in Virginia of finding yourself in a location where it is impossible to go dance through a fountain because it is 17 degrees outside, then find your own fun! Watch a movie! Take a bubble bath! Go the the gym! (my preferred method of fun!) I am even planning on adding a kickboxing class to my weekly routine. And yes, I moved around some clients to fit this in!
We don't have to always be available to be of service to Spirit!
Spirit knows me.
I have found myself in the position of being on the elliptical machine at the gym and finding a spirit watching me. Yes I took the time to help him. Yes, if Spirit needs me I am willing to help.
Our bodies are made to require sleep for a reason. We need time to recuperate. We need time to reboot.
I am feeling like Spirit is telling me that there are a lot of servants to Spirit out there who are exhausting themselves trying to give of themselves to the world and to Spirit and are not having fun anymore!
If you feel you are not having fun anymore, let me encourage you to take a break!
When I stopped trying to make things happen and decided to just enjoy my life and allow Spirit to do my marketing, guess what! Clients starting finding me without all those hours of marketing.
Yes it is a wonderful thing to be of service to Spirit. Yes I love what I do!
I love it even more now that I have started sleeping again and going to the gym!
Guess what! The world is going to continue to rotate around the sun. The sun will come up and go down again. Life does go on.
Get up and do something fun today. If the weather is not conducive to a romp through a fountain, find something else to do that will wash away your cares and reignite your joy.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. If we can help others also find joy in their journey, then so much the better. But don't give away your joy to be of service to others. You can't give to others what you don't have.
Be a blessing. To yourself first and then to others.