Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years Hopes and Dreams

Tonight is New Year's Eve and it is also what is known as a blue moon. This is the second full moon in December, and I am told that the blue moon is in Cancer which represents birth and new life. What a great combination!! The New Year is always full of thoughts of change and new things and somehow we hope that the next year will be better than the past one. Today while at work and then afterward I kept my thoughts on my hopes and dreams for the new year but also kept in mind that things are just fine just the way they are. It is a fine line between expectations and dreaming dreams for the future!!

What do I hope for in the future? I hope that I may connect more with the Divine within myself and also in the Higher Realms. I hope that I may spread joy and hope for those who have lost their own connection and assist others in reconnecting to the Divine within themselves. I am hoping for great things for my loved ones of course, that all they hope and dream for will come to pass and that they may live lives of contentment and joy.

I wrote previously about expectations and that my hope is that I will find contentment in the now and not get all caught up in expecting something to be different from what it is. I hope to be able to put this into practice more. I am learning to be content no matter what is occurring. I am finding joy in such things as shoveling snow, believe it or not. I know that I am evolving because I have always hated winter and snow and anything cold. I loved taking the Christmas decorations down and even getting the boxes out from under the house when it was 24 degrees outside with a windchill of "hell has officially frozen over"......

So, yes, I am looking forward to the New Year and I am excited to be birthing new things in my life but I am also quietly content with things just exactly the way they are. My hope for anyone reading this is that you find joy in the little things. Don't get your expectations for the New Year to be followed by disappointment when the reality of the New Year isn't exactly what you planned. Just enjoy every moment and don't waste all the little moments waiting for the big ones. Don't wish you were somewhere else doing something else. Enjoy where you are.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Letting Go

As the year comes to a close and my thoughts are turning to the New Year, I am thinking about the things in life that need to be released and the things that I would like to attract into my life. Most of the things are not physical things or people by any means. At this point in my life I am happy with the life I have created. However, I frequently feel deep down that there is something more I have not discovered yet, and this is what I would like to attract. I believe that we all emit a particular vibration and it is this vibration that brings people and events into our lives and also it is this vibration that causes them to go away. What would I like to release? I would like to release the need to fix everything that I think is broken, especially things that are not my responsibility to fix ( I get this from my mom!). I would like to take every day as it comes, and not have a preordained plan that when that plan gets messed up, my whole day goes up in smoke. I would like to release the need to be in control all of the time. I would like to release the need to beat myself up if I do not live up to the expectation that I have set up for myself. I would like to let go of clutter. I would like to let go of the need to keep something because I might need it someday.

Obviously this list could go on and on. Today I am just going to work on one thing. As usual, I have made a list too long to possibly accomplish in one swooping motion.

As you ponder the end of one year and the beginning of the next one, realize that it is not the things outside of yourself that are causing you pain. It is that nagging little voice on the inside that tells you you are not good enough, or that your problems would be solved if so and so would change or if you had more money or a better job. Resolve to let go of that inner critic and love yourself for who you are.

If we learn to love ourselves, faults and all, and release our need to always be in control and good enough for some unattainable standard, then life becomes a joy to live and those around us will notice the change!! Our personal vibrations will rise to a new level and the events around us will reflect the change inside.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Journey to Regain My Voice

Recently I was doing a journey into non physical reality and I really had no intention for my journey in mind. I like to journey with my guides and power animals on a regular basis just to keep myself fresh. I asked my guides where we were going this time and they told me we were going to get my voice back. I had no idea that my voice needed to be rescued so this was a bit of a surprise to me. My guides told me that frequently in my past the things I said were not listened to or valued and because of this my voice had run off to the land of lost soul parts. My voice was a piece of my soul that had not felt valued and so had run off. This had happened several times during this lifetime and also in a previous life as well. We came to the river in non physical reality that separates us from the land of lost soul parts and so we got into a canoe and traveled across a river. When we came to the land, I noticed that it was a desolate place with hardly any trees or living things there. I had been there once before to retrieve a lost soul part so I was a bit familiar with this place. So I called out to the part of myself that had run there and immediately made a connection. I asked the part of myself that had run there to remind me of the things that had occurred to make her run away. She took me back to a time during my past when I was a member of a church and had received some messages that were not listened to. At that time I was receiving many messages but most of the time when I conveyed the messages I got a pat on the back or sometimes even a reprimand. At one point I was told not to give any more messages unless I ran it by the pastors of the church first. I had been devastated and soon after left the church and subsequently stopped receiving messages. So I told my lost voice that things were different now. I was not going to be intimidated anymore from giving messages and I am learning that I do indeed have things to say that some may find helpful. My voice agreed to return but told me that there had been more times in the past when my voice had not been heard and that I needed to go back and retrieve those parts as well. So in my journey I began to recall instances in my past when I had felt that I was not heard. My guides eventually led me to a point in a previous life when evidently I had voiced some unacceptable words in that time period and I could see a large man come after me with a large knife and evidently he had the intention of cutting my vocal chords or maybe cutting my throat. I asked my angels what I could do to stop this from happening. He was very large and powerful and I was no match for his strength. My guides said to me… look behind you!! I looked behind me and saw several huge Angels many times larger than I was and the large man was no match for these Angels. I was no longer afraid and when the man came toward me with his huge knife I raised my hand to him and told him that he could no longer intimidate me. I told him that he had no power to silence me any longer and from this day forward my voice would be heard.

I have read many thoughts on past lives and one of the theories is that previous lives occur simultaneous to this one. Time is not linear like we think it is but all of our lives occur at the same time. If this is the case then I may have actually been able to change an event in my past that now changes everything from there forward. It is similar to the movie Back to the Future when an event was changed in the past and when the main character came back to his present day life everything had changed. In my experience I came back to present time and things were the same physically but I had changed. I am still learning to speak up when I have valuable things to say but I feel that a part of myself is now there with me, backing me up and encouraging me to speak the things that are in my heart.

I guess my reason for conveying this story is to suggest that there are many parts of ourselves that we have forgotten about that perhaps have retreated away from our conscious reality for one reason or another. As we progress in our lives and evolve into the person we hope to become, these lost parts of ourselves will present themselves in an attempt to be reintroduced into our existence. We may not remember losing the lost parts but there is a process where we can retrieve these lost parts and integrate them back into our lives. There are many ways to do this. My way was to journey into nonphysical reality and recover my lost parts. As we learn to value ourselves these lost parts of ourselves will desire to come back and will present themselves to us. We must learn to open our arms to ourselves and welcome these lost parts back home.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Angels and other stuff

A few days ago a new friend who I met on Facebook who I have never actually met ( I think she lives in England) told me that the Angels wanted to use me to give messages to people and that They would reveal to me exactly how this was to occur. It is interesting that I received this message since it is the second time I have heard this in the past couple of months. Susan Lynn, my friend and spiritual advisor, also told me the same thing back in August. At the time I was not sure how to fit this into my life, and Susan suggested I start blogging. I know that the messages that I receive are not coming from me, and that I am inspired to write what I do. I am excited that the
Angels have chosen me to spread inspiration and I am learning to open up the communication lines even more so that I can accurately put what they are telling me into words.

Sometimes I am not so sure that I am supposed to write what they have told me. I am learning to listen and open up the lines of communication. Yesterday I asked the Angels what I could do to insure that the vibration was clear and that I was hearing correctly and They said to me, Just make sure your energy is light and that you are focused on Love and Light, and whatever comes through will bring life to whomever you are focused on.

The past couple of weeks work has gotten in the way of any communication. I have worked many hours of overtime due to the Post Office being my main means of supporting myself and of course, this is the busy time of year at the Post Office. However, I have found that I can still offer love and light while busy at work. I was not able to blog as much, but I was able to offer help to many people while mailing their packages and helping them with their Postal issues. Many of us think we cannot be of any spiritual use while working on non spiritual jobs but I beg to differ. Many people that will never go to a spiritual advisor will cross our paths while we are working normal jobs. I focus love and light into every piece of mail that is put into my hands and send loving energy to every person’s eyes I look into. We can be messengers of Love and Light from the Angels and Higher Realms no matter what our job or station in life.

Remember especially at this time of year that we are all given a gift to give mankind. Only we can do that special thing that is ours and ours alone. Believe that you have a special gift to offer the world and it will be revealed to you what it is. Never be afraid just to be a conduit of love and light to the every day people that cross your path. Someone may need the love that is within you just to help them get through the day.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

the Christmas Story

It’s Christmastime and this time of year there is a lot of emphasis on the birth of Jesus. Now we really don’t know if Jesus was born in December but centuries ago someone decided to celebrate his birth in conjunction with the celebration of the winter solstice. If you investigate the major religions you will find a lot of similarities in their stories and it really doesn’t matter whether Jesus was actually born in December or not. I think the point is that at some point several centuries ago there was a child born who was destined to change the course of history. Over the years my interpretation of the event has changed in conjunction to my viewpoint of the whole premise surrounding the life of Jesus and the birth of Christianity due to his life and death. During my childhood and early adulthood, I was surrounded by the belief in a Saviour of mankind and of my own soul and spent a great deal of time in the pursuit of salvation.

At some point I had the profound revelation that Jesus was not going to show up and solve all my problems. I prayed and prayed and yet I was miserable and bad things continued to happen. One day I realized that Jesus did not come to solve all my problems. His message was one of love and empowerment. He wanted me to grow up and solve my own problems. For awhile I was mad at Jesus and Christianity because I thought that Jesus had let me down. I eventually got myself out of the mess I had created for myself and I thought that I had thought of all the solutions to my problems on my own. I had immersed myself in self help books and tapes and had learned that my thinking is what creates my reality. It is not the job of Jesus or any other Diety to override our decisions and come and rescue us from ourselves.

At this point in my journey of enlightenment, it is my belief that our lives are our own creation. There is an abundance of Help from the Unseen Realms available to us if we will ask, but none of the Higher Powers are going to make our problems go away with no involvement on our part. I think the story of the birth of Jesus is a parable we can all learn from. There is a Benevolent Force who loves us enough to send us the opportunity to birth a new life in the midst of a life of struggle. In the story Mary receives a message from an Angel that she will bring forth a Son who will bring salvation to many. I believe that within us all is the potential to bring hope and life and salvation to someone else and also to ourselves. We may have a message of hope and life to bring to someone else. In the story we may be the shepherds who also received the message of new life and hope and brought the message to others. We may be the wise men who brought gifts from far away. We may be the inn keeper who gave the birth a place to happen, even though it was not where most births happened.

I have found that even though my belief system has changed somewhat and I do not believe that Jesus came to save me from my sins, I have found in the story of the birth of Jesus a lesson I can take to heart. At some point in our lives we all are walking around in a dark place and all of a sudden, we receive an inspiration that there is hope. The birth of a child represents the beginning of new life. There is a hope that new life is available and all we have to do is birth it into our lives. That seed of hope is planted and while that seed grows within us we begin to notice that our perspective has changed. If we believe that we contain within the womb of our selves the potential for a new life, then circumstances begin to change. Wise men start coming to visit us with gifts. Shepherds start coming to visit and spread the news of cheer and good will to all. The only thing that has changed is our belief that within us is the seed for our salvation.

The gift of the story of Christmas is that new life is available to us all. When the light turns on inside of us and we realize that salvation comes to the inside of us, not the outside, then the message Jesus was trying to tell us is heard. Even some of Jesus disciples thought that Jesus had come to overthrow the government, and Jesus said no… salvation comes from the inside out. When we have peace and love within our hearts then we have heard the message.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


I have been thinking lately about expectations. I think expectations are the force behind most of our discontent. I guess the thought came to me because it is Christmas time and I am spending much of my time working at the Post Office mailing packages for customers. For the most part I enjoy my job until I have waited on my 1554th customer and I haven’t been to the bathroom or even had time to take a drink of my soda for the past three hours. I go to work early and stay late and my exercise routine is out the window. Forget meditating or blogging. Sometime in the middle of that 1554th customer I think, is this what Christmas is all about? All of this shopping and mailing presents and cards and what should I get this person and I wonder if this person sent me a card last year? Should I send one to them? I wonder if I sent some of my leftover cards from last year if anyone would remember which card I sent them last year? And then the 25th comes and goes and there is this big let down… all of this preparation and cooking and wrapping and stressing about what gifts to give and to whom and then in a couple of hours it is all over. Why the big let down? I think because our expectation of the event is bigger than the reality of it. With expectation comes disappointment. What if we could live without expectations? What if we could just enjoy every moment for what it is and not expect something else or something more or something we don’t have?

A lot of our time is spent thinking about being somewhere or doing something other than what we are doing at that moment. At this moment outside of my house there is over a foot of snow and I am thinking about a trip to Florida in a month or so and sitting by the beach. Last year, however, my trip to Florida resulted in a week of disappointment because the temperature never got above 55. I was expecting warm weather and sunshine and I was disappointed because my expectation of an event did not meet up with the reality of the event itself. What if I could have just enjoyed the trip with my husband and visiting my family without the expectation of what I would be doing or what the weather was going to be like? What if I could just enjoy the snow? What if I could just enjoy every moment for what it is and not think about being somewhere else or doing something else? What if while I am at work I could just enjoy being at work and enjoy waiting on customers or whatever I find myself doing instead of thinking about what I could be doing instead or what I should get done when I get off?

Maybe there are many keys to contentment but I think one of the major keys to living a life full of joy and having less disappointment is that when something is not exactly like we expected it to be to just take it as it comes and enjoy the moment anyway. How much of our lives do we waste away wishing we were doing something else? The monumental moments of our lives come and go quickly and the rest of our lives are filled with just moments. If we can enjoy every moment even if we are not doing anything monumental we will have so much more of our lives filled with extraordinary moments because we will soon realize that every moment is precious.

So am I saying that expectations are bad? I am not sure. I do know that if I am always expecting something in the future to happen to make life better than what I am experiencing right now, then I am wasting the life I am living right now. I guess what I am saying is that every moment is a gift. Every breath we take, every blink of an eye, every smile we give away, if we pay attention, we will learn to appreciate the gift of the moment instead of expecting something else.

Today I am thankful for eighteen inches of snow. I am thankful for the washing machine that is beeping at me, my husband napping on the couch, and that warm feeling that there is nothing that I am expecting that could be any better than this.

Friday, December 4, 2009

You are My Obsession

Just a silly little quick blog today about a meditation I had while on the elliptical machine this morning. I like to meditate while on the elliptical machine because my hands and feet are stationary and I can close my eyes without worrying about falling off or running into something…

Anyway, I had my music on that is conducive to elliptical machines and going really fast. Sometimes if I get really deep into a meditation I won’t even hear the music anymore but in this case the song came on You Are My Obsession. At the moment of my meditation I was face to face with some Higher Beings, all in White. I was thinking maybe Mother and Father God but maybe just a couple of High Beings of Light. I was feeling so much love and light and so I said to them.. You are my obsession…and they said back to me…. no, you don’t understand… you are our obsession!! Wow!! What a revelation!!

They said to me… don’t you understand.. it is through you that we see and hear and feel the physical realm… we feel fear when you feel fear. We feel love when you feel love. We feel pain and joy and all of the emotions that make you human and alive when you feel them. This is as much of an adventure to us as it is to you…..

Then and there I knew that I would never feel alone again or that I didn’t have direction or purpose. There is so much I don’t know and life is such an exciting adventure!! And there are Those Beings on the Other Side that are always there with me, feeling the feelings I feel and experiencing life along with me….

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


During my meditations recently it has been made clear to me over and over that our thoughts do indeed create our reality. Recently I have noticed some underlying beliefs that I never noticed before. One of them is that I can’t seem to find enough time to get everything done that I need to get done. I have a tendency to fill my plate up with way more than what I can possibly accomplish, and then beat myself up when I don’t get everything done. There always seems to appear some wrench in my plan, something to throw my tightly packed schedule to the wind. So recently while meditating, the idea was presented to me that maybe I needed to change my thinking patterns. I was reminded of a dream I had recently where I was climbing up the face of a building, and when I got to the top I was having trouble climbing over the guardrail on the top of the building. I said to my Guides in the dream, this is so hard!! And my Guides replied, your thinking is flawed. Start to say to yourself that it is easy and you will easily climb over the top of the building. When I said out loud, this is easy, then I was easily able to accomplish what I had set out to do.

Back in present time, I have set a mantra for myself now that I am easily able to accomplish all that I set out to do and that I have enough time, energy, and finances to accomplish all those things which I desire to do.

Another mantra which I am incorporating into my thinking is that I am heard. Sometimes I feel like I have valuable things to say, but no one is listening. But I have saved this one for another blog.

I encourage anyone reading this to look within yourselves at what underlying beliefs are keeping you from accomplishing what it is you have set out to do. It is so easy just to turn and begin to think a different way. Anytime I think that I do not have enough time to accomplish something, I say to myself, thank you for sharing but I do indeed have enough time, energy and finances to accomplish anything I desire to do. This works!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Journey to Gettysburg

I am the type of person who has trouble meditating while sitting still. I seem to do my best nonphysical journeys into the Other Realms while exercising. One morning on the eliptical machine I took an incredible journey into nonphysical reality. Why it is so easy to journey while my body is doing something else is somthing I haven’t figured out yet, but I say.. whatever works…

Anyway, I asked my Angels and Power Animals to assist me on a trip my husband Clay and I were taking up to Gettysburg, PA. I wanted to assist the energy there in some way or at least be aware of the energy in that place. Known as the most haunted town in the USA, I wanted to be able to discern some of the paranormal and assist if possible. I noticed I had three of my power animals with me on this trip and I found myself on a piece of land which I assumed was a battlefield. I felt great sorrow on the land and then a Voice spoke to me and said… the civil war was not the first sorrow here. The Native American Spirits have been grieving on this land far before the civil war happened. The land itself is grieving and the blood that was lost here remains in the land and the thoughts and feelings of those who lost their lives here is still in the blood, still grieving and feeling the trauma of the devastation here. And I said, what can I do? In my meditation, I felt I needed to apologize to the land for the mindset that created so much devastation and to send healing energy into the land itself. Mother Earth had absorbed so much blood and so much sorrow in that place and the Spirits of those who lost their lives still wandered around grieving also. So in my journey I layed on the land and sent healing energy into the ground and my Power Animals also walked the land and there were also some Native American Spirits who filled the land with love and together we absorbed some of the energy of grief. Then I saw some soldiers standing around watching and they said to me… I cannot love.. I cannot feel love or allow it in. I am in too much pain. I am afraid to let love in. And I said to them, by not allowing love you lose. Your loved ones are waiting to welcome you on the other side where there is light and love all around and the grief will be absorbed and you will feel pain and loss no more. Then there was the light and I felt that some of the soldiers there crossed over and there was great joy and the Angels rejoiced and welcomed them home. At the end of this there was great joy but exhaustion also.