Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Ugly Duckling

I received this story the other day while I was running and I wanted to share it just in case anyone else ever felt like they were “different”.

Everyone is familiar with the children’s story of the Ugly Duckling. In the story, by some act of fate, a swan egg gets mixed up in a nest of duck eggs and is born to a duck in the middle of a duck community. This swan grows up in the duck pond and always feels a little different, but can’t quite understand why. His mom and dad are both ducks, and his brothers and sisters are all ducks. The pond is full of families of ducks. Everyone in the community also realizes that this swan is a little different. His mother knows that even before he was born, his egg just didn’t look or feel like her other eggs. Of course she loved him like she loved all her other babies, and watched helplessly as he tried to be a duck. But deep inside she knew he was different. And he knew it too.

Not having any swans in the pond, no one realized that he was really a swan. That there was nothing wrong with him, that he was just being what he was. The swan inside of him longed to find others that were similar to him, but no one knew there were such things as swans, and if there were, where they were. So the swan grew up, feeling different, but hiding it, acting like a duck, even though everyone knew he was not a duck.

There is nothing in the story to indicate that there was anything wrong with being a duck or that there is anything wrong with being a swan. Swans are not better than ducks, and ducks are not better than swans. They are just different. But if a swan is born and grows up amongst ducks, he is always going to think there is something wrong with him. He just isn’t like all the other ducks.

Of course, in the children’s story the swan eventually wanders off into the woods and comes upon another pond that is inhabited by swans and learns that he is not ugly or different at all. He falls in love with a beautiful swan who thinks he is the most handsome swan she ever saw and lives happily ever after.

This story is not about anyone in particular, but I am sure that there are many of us, myself included, who have always felt a little different than everyone else. As a child, I felt different from everyone else. I never quite fit in. All the ducks around me were just being ducks, but I just never quite grasped the ability to fit in with the crowd. Even now, sometimes I just wonder, where are all the people who think like me? Why do I always think differently from everyone else?

Living in a duck pond has taught me that there is not a right or wrong way to think. There is not ugly and beautiful. Just because all the ducks in the pond think differently from me does not mean my way is wrong or that they are right, just different. And there is nothing I can do to make myself a duck. Now that I am older and I realize that I am a swan and I have met on occasion other swans, I know that I don’t need to try to be a duck. The ducks may never understand me, but hopefully we can all get along. Life would just be boring if I moved to a pond of swans. Then everyone would be like me and I would never learn acceptance of those different than me.

I am sure if you have not felt like a swan in a duck pond then you have met someone who was the swan in the duck pond. Take it from the swan, be tolerant. Be accepting. We can all learn to love and accept each other.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Employee of the Month

I have been receiving messages for many years, but I haven't always called it the same thing. Years ago when I was an avid church attendee, we called it prophecy, I guess named after the Old Testament prophets.

I remember one time I had a dear friend who worked with me at the Post Office. He was and I guess still is an amazing musician, who was having some issues at the time feeling like his music was not being accepted. I am not sure if it was a message or not, but I felt like I had received some guidance for him, which I had passed along in conversation.

Around the same time, a friend of mine had stopped by the house one day and told me that God had given her a message to give me fifty dollars. I had graciously accepted, although I was not in desperate need of money, but it was nice to know that my friend and God were thinking about me.

One day I was at work and they had an awards presentation where they were giving fifty dollar gift certificates for outstanding performance at the Post Office. I was not a recipient of the award, but my friend had given me the gift of fifty dollars around the same time. I did not know how these three, seemingly independent events, would come together very shortly.

I came home from work one evening, and I think it might have been the same day as the awards presentation at work, not particularly thinking about the award, but I was soon to find out its significance. I got a call from the pastors of the church I was attending, asking if they could come over. Of course I agreed. When they got there they proceeded to tell me that I was not to give any more words of "prophecy" unless I ran it by them first. Apparently they had not liked what I had told my friend, who had relayed my insights to them. I was devastated. I had not intended to rustle any feathers, or cause any grief, but evidently the words I had given had caused a major uproar. When they left, I was grief stricken.

I went to bed that night, and as I laid in my bed I remembered the awards presentation at work and I remembered the gift my friend had given me. I could hear an almost audible voice that said to me, "You are My employee of the month." I knew that I had said the words I was supposed to say and that even though the words were not received in the manner I had intended, I knew I had given the message I was supposed to give. My spirits were lifted as I knew that God was the one who gave me the messages and if I got a message, I would pass it along.

Now that my thinking processes have changed somewhat, I still believe the messages I used to get and the messages I get now are coming from the same place. I used to say the messages were from God or the Holy Spirit, and now I say the Angels, but the voice is the same. I know that there is a Higher Intelligence, and that Intelligence is Who gives me my messages. It is nice to know that sometimes, even when my messages are not received or appreciated, that Someone has appreciated the fact that I was not afraid to say what I was told to say. All these years later, I just wanted to say thanks to that Higher Power who let me know that I was hearing correctly and I had said what I needed to say, and that it was appreciated.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Visitors from the Other Side

This morning while I was running I found myself accompanied by several visitors from the other side. They came in succession one right after the other and so I am going to try to write this all down before I forget.

The first visitor that came to me was my grandson’s father, who died of breast cancer at the age of 24. He had custody of my grandson while he was alive and then my daughter took over after he passed. He told me that he is watching over Hayden and making sure that he is okay. I always perceived Nathaniel (Hayden’s father) to be a loving soul, but he had a lot of challenges in his life to overcome. He assured me that he planned it that way before he incarnated, and that he always had Hayden’s benefit in mind. We agree that Hayden is a very evolved soul, and Nathaniel assured me that the reason Hayden had chosen such a challenging childhood was so that he would grow up with compassion for those less fortunate. He would not have the judgements toward the less fortunate that most people who grow up in middle class suburbia have. Hayden, he assured me, was exactly in the place he was meant to be, and he would be all right.

Next I saw my ex husband’s mother, who died of cancer several years ago. She told me she understood why I had divorced her son, but just remember not to speak ill of him, because when I do, the energy goes out towards him and he feels it and it hinders him in his journey, just as the words he has spoken toward me have affected me as well. I admit to recounting past events on occasion, but I asked her to nudge me or give me a reminder if the words come out of my mouth when I am not thinking. I also asked for help with that amazing cornbread she used to make. I have tried to duplicate it but I seem to be missing something. I think she gave me the answer.

Next I felt the presence of Clay’s (my husband) mother and possibly father too, but he did not speak. I only felt the voice or thoughts of the mother. I never met her, she had passed before I met Clay. My mother was there too, and indicated that they had compared notes often while they are there visiting us on occasion. What my mom and his mom gave me was a story of our childhoods and how they were very similar in the way we interpreted our surroundings and the people around us. I will save it for another blog, because it is a little long. Clay’s brother showed up too, to give validation to the story.

I think that the people we know and love on this side are all around us when they pass, and that maybe they see things from a different perspective after they pass. It is kind of like being in the woods and only seeing trees or seeing the forest from an airplane. It is the same forest, but the perspective is a little different. Thanks to all those who are all around us, watching out for us and observing our lives. They are like our cheerleaders, cheering us on in this game of life.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Car, the Boat, and the Helicopter

Remember the old story about how a flood came while a man was in his house and he prayed to God to rescue him from his house? First a man came and warned him to leave in his car and the man said no God is going to rescue me. Then a man came in a boat as the waters rose and the man in the house said, No God is going to rescue me... and then a rescue man in a helicopter came and the man refused, saying, no, God is coming to rescue me. Finally the man died. When he got to heaven, he asked God why he had not rescued him. God said, well I sent you a man in a car, a man in a boat and a man in a helicopter, what else did you want?

Yesterday I experienced this first hand. I was wanting some social interaction and my husband was going out of town to meet some friends. I had every opportunity to go with him but I felt like I needed to go to bed early since I get up so early on Saturdays to go to work so I said no. Then a friend asked me to go to a wine festival in town and I said no, I guess I will just go home. When I got home, alone, and not all that happy to be alone, I asked the Angels to send someone for me to socialize with. (I really didn't mean right that minute.) I was outside in the yard and noticed my neighbors in the driveway who I am acquainted with but didn't really interact with all that much. I went over to say hi and ended up staying for several hours. I had a splendid time, completely forgetting the time. When I got back home, my husband was home and worried sick about where I was!

After calming my husband down, I thanked the Angels for giving me someone to talk to. It is amazing sometimes how quickly those Angels answer when we ask!! Now if I had taken my first opportunity for social interaction, my Angels could have been busy helping someone else, but sometimes they have to work overtime just to get me to take my gifts!!

How often do we request things of the Universe, the Angels, Guides and Higher Beings, only to refuse them when they are dropped into our laps? How many times do we miss the answers to our requests because they didn't come in the package we were expecting them to come in?

As an after note, I was touched by the concern of my family members, who were ready to put out an all points bulletin for my safe return! I really learned how much I am loved. Thanks to the Angels for sending me some social interaction, and thanks to my husband and stepson who apparently called all the hospitals in the area looking for me....and thanks to Ann, my dear friend, who made me a present to keep around for the next time I decide to disappear!!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Barrel

This blog is for anyone who has ever experienced a block of some kind. It may be a block in your creativity, or a block in manifesting the things you have been setting your intentions toward, or a block in communicating with the Unseen Realms. I have recently been experiencing such a block. I had attempted to contact the Angels, Ascended Masters, Higher Beings of Love and Light numerous times in the past week or so to no avail. It seems the heavens were silent. As I have mentioned before, my intention is to be a beacon of love and light, a conduit of healing to whomever I come into contact with, whether the person receiving the energy is aware of the loving energy coming their way or not. Very often my means of communicating messages to others from the Unseen Realms is through my blog. Although I had had some messages, when I would try to put them into words the words would not come through to the page. I asked my Guides, Angels, Ascended Masters, any High Being of Love and Light(that is generally what I say to cover Them all) what was happening and I did not receive any answers.

Sometimes when I do not get any answers directly, I turn to my books. I randomly pick a book and open to whatever page comes to me and read what it says to me. I generally know when the words on the page are relevant and when they are not. This time it worked! I got two messages. One was that it was very important to allow others to have their own experiences and accept them for whatever they were choosing in their experiences and not be so concerned with "saving" them. The other message I got said that the Prime Creator was the creator of both light and darkness or He(She) would not be Prime Creator. These two messages seemed to be independent of one another and not related to my "block" but I knew these messages were for me.

So this morning I attempted once again to contact the Side of Light to no avail until I went to the gym and got on the elliptical machine. I asked Gabriel the Angel of messages to come and talk to me about my "block." I approached the "blinds" previously mentioned in my blog and asked the Gatekeeper if I could come over to the side of Light. I was allowed through the blinds and there was Gabriel and another female Guide, maybe Mary Magdalene (I had never contacted her before but this is who I felt she was). They took me to a ceremony where there was a huge barrel which had a fire in it and was burning. They told me I had some bitter root judgements I needed to put in the barrel. I had come to the place in my journey where I could not move forward unless I released them. I was not aware of any judgements but I imagined myself pulling up roots of bitterness and throwing them into the barrel. My previous message the night before about Prime Creator being both light and darkness made me understand that God was in the bitter root judgements as well as in the acceptance of all that is. This made me understand my dream of snakes as well, also previously mentioned in another blog. The snakes, it was told to me, was God coming to me in my experience in the form of snakes. I now understood that the snakes were hidden things that were coming out of the woodwork and showing themselves now to be released. I imagined myself also throwing the snakes into the fire. I was also made aware that the judgements of others toward me and the energy that was being directed at me that was not for my highest good was also to be placed in the barrel. As I envisioned myself throwing my roots of bitter judgements toward myself and others into the fire, I felt a huge release as the fire took these judgements up into the air where they dispersed. I called out to the roots and the snakes and thanked them for showing themselves to me and told them that I would not be needing them any longer. I thanked the Angels and Beings of Light for showing me these things and giving me the opportunity to release these things that were no longer necessary in my journey.

I think it is important, when releasing things no longer necessary, to thank those things for the lessons that they have taught. I thank the Light and the Darkness both for the things that they teach me. Then I say that I have decided to follow the Light. I imagine myself clothed in Light and that the Light always dispels the darkness. I imagine that Light is all around me and even when I walk my footprints behind me glow with Light and show the way to those in darkness.

Thanks to those who have walked before me and their footprints have been a beacon of light to show me the way. Thanks to the Angels and Guides who are always there, even when I don't feel Their presence. Thanks also to the darkness, for showing me what I don't want or need anymore. God is in it all.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Recently I had a dream about snakes. I dreamed it had rained hard during the night and when I awoke I went out into the rest of the house and everywhere I looked there were snakes. There were very large snakes, small snakes, and everything in between. There were snakes wrapped up in the drapes, hiding in the corners, coming out of the cushions in the couch. There were snakes so large they took up almost an entire room.

A friend of mine also recently had a dream about snakes and I had told her that snakes almost always represent healing of some kind. But in this case I was not so sure. I looked up on my search engine what other people had to say about dreaming of snakes and I came up with a lot of different answers. Some said deception, some said danger, and some said healing. So I asked the Angels what my dream meant. I believe that just because most of the time a particular symbol means a particular thing in most cases, that does not mean it is always the case.

The Angels do not always answer me directly by speaking to me. At first they were silent and I began to think, Oh they just are going to make me figure this one out on my own. Or maybe something is going to happen and I will know that this is what my dream meant. Well, several days went by and nothing happened. So with the intention in mind of finding an answer to my dream, I picked up a book that was lying on the coffee table and I said to the Angels, OK, would you please let me find the answer in this book? The particular book was a used book I had purchased on the internet, and in several places in the book there was highlighting, done by whoever owned the book before me. I had not read the book yet, except to skim through it a little.

I opened the book randomly and looked down at the page I had opened to. There was some highlighting on the page so immediately my attention was drawn to the highlighted section. What I read amazed me. The words said that sometimes the Gods will come down to us from above and shapeshift into physical form. They can appear to us as serpants or other animals. This I immediately knew was the answer to my question. Does this mean that God had shapeshifted into my dream and appeared in my house in the form of snakes? That is what it appears I was being told. And why were the snakes everywhere, in the drapes, the sofa cushions, the sink? Why were they everywhere?

I think the message to me at this particular time was that God is everywhere. There is no where I can go to escape. God, the Angels, the Higher Beings, whatever we choose to call the Higher Beings, they are everywhere. I need to know that I am never alone, and that They are always there. Even when I feel my lines of communication have been shut off, even when I feel there is no one who understands me, even when I feel there is no one who is like me, who thinks like me or feels like me or understands things the way I do. When there is no one to talk to and I am feeling out of sorts, They are always there. And I do not need to be afraid. If they are everywhere, then I am not in any danger, ever.

I am learning that things do not always mean what you think they mean. If you listen, every little thing has a message. And it is not always what you think.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Temporary Setback?

This month it seems that the messages have been coming but my ability to translate the messages into something I can post on my blog has been hindered. I have asked the Angels for some insight into this new development. I was reminded of a dream I had a couple of years ago. In the dream I had opened up my closet door only to find a woman come out of the closet screaming at me! She was holding my journal and was very upset with some things that were written in it. After screaming at me for a moment, she finally calmed down and then came up to me and hugged me and thanked me for the things that I had written. I had forgotten about this dream but recently I was looking through some of my old journals just to see if I could get inspired to write something for the blog and ran across this old entry. At the time I had this dream I was not blogging so none of the things in my journal would have been available for public reading. After reading this old dream, which I had chronicled over three years ago, I knew that this was a dream about myself coming out of the closet and making public the messages that I had been receiving. I was insecure enough to be worried about public perception. I believe that the dream was trying to tell me that there was nothing to be worried or upset about, however, that the messages were there to help people and that after the initial shock they would be well received.

I am not sure why sometimes the words just flow and sometimes there is nothing. I think it is so that I always know that the words are not coming from me, but from a Higher Source. It is in that time of nothingness that I appreciate the presence of the Angels even more. Even when I am not hearing messages I am keenly aware of their Presence. Very often when there are messages waiting for me, I will see the numbers 444, which I am told is the number of the Angels. In the past couple of days I have seen these numbers frequently, and I always know that the Angels are trying to get through to me. Also last night, my washing machine kept beeping, although it was not being used. My washing machine for some reason is very sensitive to the Presence of the Angels, and it was letting me know their Presence was in the house. At about 2a.m. I finally had to unplug it, so that I could try, unsuccessfully, I might add, to get some sleep. But although all these signs were indicating the presence of the Angels, I had no messages jumping out at me. I have even tried to post some messages that I have gotten in the recent past that I have yet to post, and the words would not come through my fingers to the page.

I am sure that this temporary writers block will end and I will be posting messages again soon. When the block lifts, there are words to be written, there are messages crying to be made public. Timing is everything.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Supposed To's

Recently I have been made aware of "supposed to's". As long as I can remember, I have felt like there was something I was supposed to do, some major contribution I was supposed to make to the betterment of mankind. I was raised in a Christian home, and most of my family on my dad's side were either ministers or married to ministers, so naturally I thought that I would follow the same path. However, I never could seem to get that to happen. I struggled along with life, married rather young, had a child, never quite feeling like I had found that thing that I was "supposed" to do.

For years I went to church like I was supposed to, stayed married to the same person like I was supposed to, went to work every day, church a couple times a week, just like I was supposed to. One day I realized that I was completely unhappy with my supposed to life. I started feeling like maybe there was something more than what I was being told in church. Maybe there was something more than my supposed to life. I started reading books that were controversial to say the least in my supposed to world. I realized there was a lot more out there than I was experiencing in my supposed to world.

Eventually I left my supposed to world and made a new life for myself. I found that the only thing I am supposed to do is be happy, and that was the one thing I never allowed myself to do before. In my supposed to world, it was only important for other people to be happy, not me. How many times in my supposed to world did my church leaders say that the order of importance was Jesus first, others second, yourself last. That was my world. I thought Jesus would be happy that I was giving up my own personal happiness for others, but when I asked for help changing my supposed to life, I felt alone. Now I realize that my happiness is up to me. If there is something in my life that needs changing, the only one that can change it is me. Now I will be the first to say that there is help out there in the NonPhysical world from our Angels, Guides, Masters, and other Beings of Love and Light. But they are never going to tell me what I am supposed to be doing.

I guess I thought of this the other morning on my way to work when I asked my Angels if I really was going in the direction I was supposed to be going. I heard the answer loud and clear.. there are no "supposed to's". My Angels said to me, ask Us for help and We will gladly give it to you, but We will never tell you what you are supposed to do. That is up to you. You are the Creator of your life. Never feel like you are off the path. You are the one who decides. When you decide on a path, We will move Heaven and Earth to help you. We will inspire you, suggest things to you, throw books or people onto your path to lead you in the direction that is in your best interest, but it is always up to you to decide what is best for you. Your emotional guidance system is the best way you can know if you are going in the right direction for you. If you feel joy in your heart, then you are doing what is best for you.

Having been an addict of "supposed to's", I know this will not be easy. But it is a direction I am willing to try. I am sure I will forget from time to time. I am not an advocate of shirking my responsibilities. I still go to work every day, I still come home to my husband. But I don't do those things because I am supposed to. I do them because I want to. I am happily free from "supposed to's".......

The Blinds

Recently I was exercising on the elliptical machine and I immediately fell into a state of meditation, which I often do while exercising. I had earlier received a message that I needed to inform the Gatekeeper of my intentions. The Gatekeeper had appeared to me before and I had wondered who he was. This time I sensed that he was a watcher between the worlds.

This time I sensed a set of blinds that separated this world from the realm of light. The blinds were mostly open and the Gatekeeper stood just on the other side of the blinds from the side I was on. The light was on the side where the Gatekeeper stood and I stood on the dark side looking through the blinds into the side of light.

So I said to the Gatekeeper, "I intend to explore the side of Light." And the Gatekeeper let me in.

Then I saw who I sensed was Archangel Gabriel (or Gabriella, for she appeared to me to be female). She was beautiful with long chestnut brown hair. She held her hand out to me and especially toward my heart. There was a particular beat like the pulsing of my heart but the whole atmosphere around her beat with this pulsing beat. I felt she was changing my vibration in some way. Then she smiled and it was over. I felt shocked back into present time and I regretted that I hadn't come back to reality more gradually.

I asked my Spirit Guide what this vision meant and He said that very soon I would be crossing over a threshold similar to the vision of the blinds. It would be very much like crossing over from darkness into light. Where sometimes now it takes great concentration to get into the non physical realm soon it would be easier, kind of like just stepping from one room into another one.