Tuesday, March 2, 2010

For Mom

Today is the anniversary of my mother's passing from cancer. My mother was a very vibrant woman, full of life and always caring for others. Just a couple days before she passed she was driving some elderly ladies to their doctor's appointments and picking up their medicine. While she was alive we didn't always see eye to eye. She was very strong willed and liked to make her views known to others. Most people never questioned her, just letting her have her way was the easiest way. When she passed, we had a memorial service for her where people could get up and speak and tell what she had meant to them. Many people got up and spoke, and told of the countless times she had ignored her own needs and even the pain that she suffered from to minister to the needs of someone else.

Since her passing, I often feel her presence and even hear her advice coming to me in a still small voice. Today I decided to make a lamb roast in her honor, one of her prize dishes. She was an amazing cook, especially of the Norwegian dishes that my grandmother, my father's mother, had taught her.

So I asked her if there was anything she would like me to write today that would be her message to the world. My mother always dreamed of writing books, even though this was a little known fact. She never pursued this interest to my knowledge, but now, after her passing, she has told me that my ideas are often ones that she has inspired me to write. I put on her sweater that I confiscated from her closet after her passing, and imagined her sitting here with her fingers on the keyboard instead of mine.

I think she wants us to know that she is happy where she is, and that she sees things from a different light now that she has passed. Things are not so much black and white like she thought when she was alive. Love is the answer to all our problems and all our battles that we fight here in this life. Whenever we find ourselves wondering how to deal with situations we find ourselves in, just remember that love is the healing balm that soothes over all our wounds and all our misunderstandings. In our dealings with those we love, and even those we just tolerate, remember to always say.. what would love do? Our judgements will fade away and our opinions will not seem so important when we realize that seeing others through the eyes of love always changes our perspective. Yes, there are always our opinions that those we love could be doing things better or dealing with the situations in their lives in a better way, the way we think they should do things, but in reality we can't live other people's lives for them. Each of us has to live our own lives, and learn and discover truth for ourselves. Mom says the biggest mistake she made in this life was trying to make people conform to the way she thought things were supposed to be, instead of letting people learn for themselves.
That old saying, "mom always knows best" comes to mind.

Mom says that when she looks back over her life, she is satisfied for the most part with the things she did and what she accomplished in her life. Yes there are things she could have done differently, but for the most part, she lived life, she learned her lessons and she helped as many people as she could along the way. She is happy now, watching from afar as we learn our lessons and move through life.

I am sure that mom is always around, and I hope I was able to convey the message she had to share as accurately as I could.......Love you mom....

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