Thursday, October 21, 2010

Unconditional Love

Recently I have been thinking about unconditional love and what it really is. A friend of mine received a message from a psychic last year that this year she would come to know unconditional love. She was hoping it would mean that she would finally meet the man of her dreams and find the love she has been searching for. Recently she told me that there were only a few months left in the year and she was still waiting for that to occur.

I began to contemplate what unconditional love really is and if, in fact, it could mean romantic love. Unconditional love means a love that loves you no matter what. It loves you if you are fat, skinny, mean, kind, pretty, ugly, poor, rich, or any other of the multitude of qualities I could think of mentioning. That is a good idea, but I am not so sure it is a good idea for a romantic partner. What if the person you love is a serial killer? Unconditional love means you love them anyway? What if the person beat you up or cheated on you or robbed banks or embezzled funds from the company he worked for? Or what if he just sat in front of the TV all day and did not ever get up and go to work or clean himself up or help around the house? What if he just yelled all the time or what if he was nice sometimes but other times he treated you bad? When do you say, okay, unconditional love draws the line here?

I think unconditional love happens between a person and their Source, their idea of who or what God is. I think God loves us unconditionally. I also think our pets love us unconditionally, but then again, if we neglect them, don't feed them, beat them, do they still love us? Unconditional love says they do. I am not so sure. I think unconditional love can happen between a parent and a child, but not necessarily. Sometimes there are issues there as well. Behavior then, is a key factor. But how about unconditional love for oneself?

Do we love ourselves even when we make mistakes? Even when we are not young enough, or pretty enough, or thin enough, or smart enough, or funny enough? I think in order to find a love between myself and another person, I have to love myself enough to believe it is possible. I have to love myself to believe that I deserve love, that I am valuable enough that someone could love me. And that I love myself enough to realize that if a person is not treating me with enough respect or kindness, then it is okay to end that relationship. And I have to love myself enough to be okay with or without another person to validate me, to make me feel like I am okay.

We all have within ourselves all the unconditional love we could possibly need. That is because all we need we really do have within ourselves. We just have to access that part of ourselves and tap into that part of us that is inside that is love. And when we have accessed that part of ourselves and we really love ourselves enough to be okay with or without that special someone, then we will draw to ourselves like a magnet that love from another person. In other words, if you want love in your life, then be love. Love others, love yourself. Love the trees and the grass and the birds and the flowers. Love those extra five pounds you just can't get rid of. Love that old couch in the living room that is past its prime. Love the pillows that cushion your head as you sleep. Send love to everything around you. Pretty soon you will feel so much love in your life that you can't help but attract it. And if you do, you will recognize that true feeling of love when it comes. And you will recognize when it is not love.

Even my computer works better when I send it loving energy. The people around me respond to me much better when I come from a place of love within my heart. The sun shines brighter, the grass is greener. I don't notice so much when there are things that are less than loving going on around me. That is unconditional love. And it only comes from that place inside of us that is connected to that place where love originates.

And to my friend who is looking for love, you don't have to look far. It is within you.

1 comment:

  1. I'm reminded of Caroline Myss telling someone after they said they wanted to learn about unconditional love: "Congratulations. You've just invited every jerk into your life!" Haha

    I think it was Rumi who said, "You are the love you seek." LOVEly post! :-) H.