Sunday, February 22, 2015

Becoming Your Own Hero!

What do you think of when you look at this photo?

Do you think, wow that takes a lot of practice, determination, and stamina to accomplish such a feat! You go girl!

Or, do you think, this photo is exploiting to women. Pole dancing is demeaning to women and contributes to low self esteem in women who do not look like this?

How dare she post a photo like this in a spiritual blog!

Was your first response to the photo positive or negative?

If it was positive, YAY YOU!!!

Today's post is all about letting go of judgement.

Sometimes we are so accustomed to passing judgement we don't even realize we are doing it. We see a photo or hear a song on the radio or see something on television that elicits a specific emotional response.

That emotional response is a clue to us on an area of our subconscious we need to work on. Anytime we feel a negative emotional response based on something we see, hear, feel, smell, or taste, there is a clue that we have an unresolved issue that was just triggered by that emotional response.

For example, if seeing a woman pole dancing brings up within us the thought that this woman is being sexually exploited, we are saying that there is something wrong with the act of sex, or a particular aspect of the act of sex. We are assuming the woman is not enjoying what she is doing. We are projecting our feelings onto someone else.

If, however, we can look at this photo and say... that's impressive.. or.... if I tried, I could do that, then we are looking at the photo without judgement. Truth be told, there is no real sexual implication in this photo whatsoever. 

What if we said, oh that makes people who are large feel bad about themselves.. it implies that everyone has to be thin to be acceptable.. 

Another judgement.

We are assuming that large people feel bad about themselves. We are perhaps internalizing something we feel about ourselves.

One way to get to the core issue is to ask ourselves why the emotional response was triggered in the first place.

For example, if we thought to ourselves, this is not a spiritual photo, how dare she post this on a spiritual blog?


Perhaps we think that there are specific rules about what is and is not acceptable.


Because showing a woman half clad upside down on a pole is not acceptable or spiritual.


Because if I tried to do this and present myself as a spiritual person I would not be accepted.


Because I allow certain rules of society to dictate to me what is and isn't spiritual.


Because I am afraid of being rejected.


Because I am afraid of not being loved.

If we reduce all of our judgements down to the core issue, almost every time we can reduce it to a fear of some kind, and especially, the fear of not being loved.

What if we circumvented the whole process and just decided that no matter what, we would decide to love ourselves and do what gives us joy?

How freeing that would be!

The next time you are tempted to judge, think about this.  WHY? Why do you feel this particular emotional response? Does it go back to something you were taught, something you experienced, something you were led to believe?

What about judging ourselves?

We do this every day.. I am not good enough. I am not smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, young enough, old enough, thin enough,  I am not enough.

If this photo elicited a response that oh, I am not ..... enough, decide today to change that thought.

You are enough. You are completely loved. There is nothing to fear.

If we cease from judging, we become our own heros. We begin to create a utopia right here in our own skin.

Whether or not we can hang upside down on a pole half clad will not matter. We will honor the right for this girl to do it and feel wonderful about herself, to feel sexy, to feel accomplished, to feel joy. And we will feel joy about feeling good about ourselves no matter whether we can do a similar activity or not.

This is your assignment.

The next time you are tempted to judge someone or something, ask yourself why?

Get down to that core issue.

Let it go. Allow whatever sparked your judgement to go and just allow it to be.

Know you are loved. You are accepted.

You are your own hero.


  1. Funny...I just posted the Moon card (tarot) about deceptions and seeing things for what they truly are...and here I'm led back to your blog again ! LOL....universe is funny.

    You got the Moon message right on, Joy...false deceptive moon light from the TRUE source of the sun trying to alter our feelings and beliefs instead of seeing life for what it

    We live in an age of techno-gadgets and apps that can tell us in 1/1000th of a sec when we will die, how to manage our lives, and what is the best route to Aunt Millie's Salon during rush hour. And because of the speedy responses we receive, we tend to blindly value them as truth instead of what they were meant to be used for: another perspective.

    We forget that everything is not what it seems at first glance and by judging hastily, we alienate ourselves from many experiences that could benefit us more by accepting them.

    As for our "Vertical Acrobat" in your blog...good for her! It actually took her years to perfect those moves, become strong enough to practice, and graceful enough to make it look easy. Realizing the beauty is like letting the sun's rays shine on us directly...although it may take a bit more time and effort at first to locate than the cold, easily accessible moonlight at our fingertips.

    The moon card has its is the dark letters on a brilliant white paper: both are needed to show contrast....are we reading the black letters on white background...or...are we noticing how the white background is interrupted by darker type?

    A thought indeed. Love your blog, Joy !! --Eric Soto MLT

    1. Thanks so much Eric! Your thoughts are very insightful. I have learned so much from your blog on the tarot. I love how the Universe weaves all our thoughts and experiences together into a synchronistic web of messages that give us just what we need when we need to hear it.

    2. If you would like to leave a link to your blog here I would love to share it!

  2. Thanks Joy! My new blog site is @
    ...and of course you are always welcome, too!-Eric