Tuesday, June 29, 2010

On Sickness and Silence

The past few days I have been recovering from a bout with a nasty infection in my throat and eyes. Sleeping has been my main agenda. As my custom is, I always do an inner inventory to see if there are subconscious messages from my soul that have come to me through physical sickness. I have a history of laryngitis. I know my tendency in the past has been to stifle the voice inside of me calling out to be heard. However, at this point in my life, I have felt that I have been speaking my truth and voicing the messages that have been given to me. Is there still something inside of me that is worried about the things I have to say and how they will be perceived? I am sure this is probably true. The messages I have been receiving may not be in the mainstream of thought. They don't line up with my former belief system. Just as my messages are about to be published into a book, I contract an illness that had me unable to speak above a whisper (ooh that may be significant...maybe I should rename my blog shouts of joy) and my eyes swollen and red to the point of vision impairment. My question to the Universe was this.... hey what's going on? Are you trying to tell me something?

During all this time of rest and sleep I could not make contact with the Higher Realms. I would sit out on the patio, pen and paper in hand, close my eyes, focus my intentions on hearing messages... and...nothing...I would just get sleepy.. go inside... take a nap..another nap...

I guess my message for today is... it's okay to take a break. I guess I am a little afraid that after years of stifling the voice inside of me crying out to be heard and then finally listening and writing down the things I hear, what if the messages stop again? What if there is nothing left to say?

Then I will just love. I will love the grass and the trees and the flowers and the bees. I will love the customers I wait on every day and the mail that goes through my hands on its way to its destination. I will love my husband, my kids and grandkids and I will enjoy every minute I spend with them. I will love the way the dirt feels under my bare feet and the song that the robin sings to me while I am sitting out on my patio. I will embrace every moment of life and thank the Angels and the Higher Realms for another day to love and to be in love.

And I will keep listening and writing down and speaking out the messages that I hear. And I will not be afraid.

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