I am sitting on the porch at an upscale French restaurant called Gabriel’s Inn in Ijamsville, MD, near Frederick. I am sipping on a glass of wine while my husband is inside at a meeting. There are outside tables available but at the moment the tables are empty. There are customers inside and I can hear them chatting and there is pleasant music playing. I also can hear the cicadas singing to me, birds chirping, and in the distance a train whistle blows. Occasionally, a car passes by. In the front of the restaurant there is an expanse of green grass, decorated by a fish pond and a gazebo. Near the gazebo, I can see a couple of deer grazing.They have crossed the front entrance and seem to be completely oblivious to any feelings of danger. What quiet contentment. A feeling of deep gratitude and joy rises up within me.
I happen to focus on the empty table in front of me, clad with a nice tablecloth and candle and surrounded by hanging plants and creeping ivy which has made its way up the banisters.
For some reason, a verse rises up within me from the deep recesses of my memory, “I have prepared a table before you in the presence of thine enemies.” Ah.. an excerpt from the 23rd Psalm. Yes, but as I have previously shared, I am seldom troubled by any enemies. What are you trying to tell me?
I seem to remember a quote and I don’t even know who said it or where I heard it that says,”I have found the enemy and the enemy is me.”
Are you trying to tell me that even through all my ups and downs and battles with myself, my endless questions regarding the validity of my contribution to the betterment of society, my questions to myself regarding whether or not I am really hearing messages from the Higher Realms, even through all that… You…. the Angels, the Higher Realms, God, whatever you want to call the Higher Power…….You have prepared a table for me despite myself???
HA…just now a train whistle blows loudly as if to call out to me and say… YES …. you finally got it!!
In the midst of my own self doubt, my battles with myself, there is a table prepared for me. Right now it is empty. It is waiting for me to sit down and dine.