The Wilderness

I am one who believes in signs. I also believe that signs are different for each individual. I have heard some say that they have a particular sign if a loved one who has passed on is communicating with them, or if they are needing the presence of Angels. For me a lot of times it has to do with numbers. Having studied numerology, and read several books on the subject, one of the books resonated with me and listed certain numbers and what those particular numbers represented.

For the past several days I kept seeing the numbers 333. They would show up as the time on the clock, the odometer reading, the total of a customer's order,  my change as I paid at the grocery store, or how many calories I  had burned while on the treadmill. To me the numbers 333 mean that it is time to connect with the Ascended Masters. This could be Jesus, or Buddha, or a number of other highly evolved Beings with whom I regularly connect. It was a couple of days before I had time to really get still and get into meditation and see who was requesting an audience with me. When I did I realized that it was Jesus calling me.

For the last week or so I had been going through a bit of a challenge. My work schedule had taken its toll upon me and by the time I got home I had no energy left for connecting or doing the multiple other tasks required of me to get ready for teaching a class or meeting with a client. I had seriously thought about "quitting."

Jesus told me I was going through my wilderness experience. He wanted me to share this with others as He said that this was something many others were experiencing as well. It was something He experienced in his life on earth, too. In the Bible, it was recounted as the time when He went in the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.

Now I am not sure at this point in my ongoing evolution of my belief system whether or not I believe there is a devil. I am inclined to say that the devil was an invented energy, given the task of scaring people into line so that parishioners were afraid to not follow the rules. After many years when so many people believe in something, its energy becomes manifest. I do believe that there is a force of dark energy, but it is few and far between when I actually come into contact with this energy. But this is a different blog. This story is about the wilderness.

Jesus at this time was contemplating how to take his message to the world. The "devil" (or could it be his own thoughts battling against the Higher Thoughts?.. after all, He was human) had tempted him to throw himself off a cliff, arguing that if God raised him from the dead, it would grant him credibility and an audience. Jesus told me that thinking about quitting is essentially the same thing: spiritual suicide. However, my motivation was not that I would gain an audience. My motivation was I was just plain tired.

There were two other temptations. One was to turn stones into bread. The other was that the devil would give him all the nations of the world if he would only bow down to worship him. The symbolism to me was easily recognizable in the temptation to gain the world by giving away our souls. Some start out genuine, really wanting to help others, and then somewhere along the line they start to get recognized and they feel compelled to continually come up with new "stuff" to market themselves and at some point prostitute their own souls. I think Jesus was warning of the temptation to say what people want to hear just to gain recognition. He was telling me to always say what was in my heart, and don't make things up just to get noticed. Also I think it speaks of those who claim some sort of special status because they have studied for years with some big name or important teacher.

The stones turning into bread was a bit more difficult to decifer. Jesus' reply to this temptation was that man will not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. This tells me to always say the words that are given to me by Spirit, and not to rely on anything I might come up with on my own. When we rely on our own knowledge or our own thoughts, it is like trying to eat rocks. Not very tasty or beneficial.

Sometimes I shy away from teaching lessons based on Bible stories, maybe because I was brought up in the church and don't want to be stereotyped, or maybe because I still have issues with the things that I experienced while in that belief system, but I still talk to Jesus and when He gives me a message, I am going to share it. This was for me, but I am sure there are others out there who can benefit from the message.

If you feel like you are going through your wilderness experience, Jesus said that it would eventually be over and after you have passed the test, that's when the good stuff starts to happen. Jesus came out of his wilderness experience and began to teach and gain an audience just because of the message and his own integrity. No one had to endorse him.  The message spoke for itself. When the message is pure, it will speak for itself.

Take heart. Go through your wilderness with the confidence that within the wilderness there are lessons to learn, and when you come out, you will be better than before. Just keep on going. Jesus said so.

Dark Night of the Soul

There is a term we are all familiar with called the "dark  night of the soul." This is a time period when everything up until this point comes into question. Those things that we hold dear seem to have lost their luster and even the very fabric of our lives come into question.

The last time I had a "dark night of the soul" was about fifteen years ago. I was heavily involved in a local church and my whole life revolved around it. I had begun to connect with Spirit (although at the time I called it the Holy Spirit.. somewhat different name, same voice I hear now). The more I connected the stranger the messages I seemed to receive. Some of the messages were foreign to me. The church I attended had been open at first to the messages but it seemed as time went on I became discontented. When it finally came to a head I left the church, and with that one sweeping action my whole world came crashing down. In my mind my purpose in life revolved around connecting with Spirit and giving the messages I received. I had no idea who I was or why this had happened. I asked God.... why give me messages if I have no one to tell them to?

Fast forward about fifteen years. As I look back to that time in my life, I thought my world was over. All of the things I had believed about God, the Universe, the Devil, and faith were all in question. It took some time to shed that old skin that I had worn for so long and reinvent myself. I immersed myself in books of many different philosophies and belief systems until I formulated my own thoughts and beliefs based on which ones resonated with me.

Yesterday I went to a somewhat local drumming circle facilitated by a woman who led us in a shamanic drumming "journey" to the Snake, her personal power animal and also the Chinese theme for this year. I had always thought the spirit of Snake when I came into contact with him as the force of healing energy, but she had a somewhat different take on its essence which resonated with me. She shared that Snake has to do with the shedding of old skin. A snake will go through a period of shedding its old skin when it has outgrown it. This reminded me of what we term "the dark night of the soul" since many times you will find old snake skins in dark places, such as attics, crawl spaces and the like. Snake goes into a dark place, sheds its skin, and then moves on to his new life, growing new skin as he goes. As I "journeyed" to the Spirit of the Snake I felt the message was that it was time to leave behind all that no longer serves us, and move forward into a new time of growth. The shedding itself may be unpleasant, but that just as birthing a child is painful, that pain is forgotten once the child is born.

We all go through times in our lives when we have to shed our old skin. This is a time when everything we had thought and believed about ourselves and our lives, possibly our belief system, our purpose in life, or our path comes into question. Whenever the person who we think we are suddenly is faced with the question of ... what if everything about me or God or the Universe is not true? What if my purpose in life is not what I thought it was? What if the person with whom I have put a lot of energy into is not who I thought they were? What if my job is not fulfilling me?  There are a multitude of scenarios which can catapult us into a "dark night of the soul" or a shedding of old skin. This is a necessary and vital part of our journey through this lifetime. If we don't shed the old skins that are constricting us, then we will not grow and become that which we are meant to be.

This seems to be a time universally when we are called to shed our old skins that have served us up until now but suddenly seem to be too small for our growing spirits. It is not a time to dread but if we are aware of what is going on it seems to be easier to navigate through. We are questioning the fabric of our lives. We are reinventing ourselves. We are revisiting our beliefs, our jobs and even our relationships and asking questions as to their validity in our lives from here forward. If you think of this time as simply a shedding of old skin, maybe it will be easier to get through. We are becoming that which we are meant to be. We are leaving behind all that which no longer serves us. This can be a frightening experience, but a necessary one.

Don't worry. When the old skin has been left behind you will be free to grow some more. Eventually you may be forced to shed the new skin that you are now growing into. It is all a process.

Think today about what things it may be time to leave behind. Don't look at those things as old or outdated. They were vital and necessary for your evolution into what you are becoming. It is time now to look forward to the new skin you are growing into and look forward to the adventures that await you!!

The Angels are Back!!

For about a month or so some friends and acquaintances and myself have been participating in a ritual in which we have invited some highly evolved Angels into our homes for a period of five days. After the five days we send them on to others. I have written several blogs about  my experiences with these Angels.

One of my peeps was lacking someone to send the Angels to so I agreed for her to send them back to me. It is an important aspect of the ritual to send them forward to someone else who would like to experience their presence. Some laugh at the ritual and say that it is nothing more than a chain letter, but I beg to differ.

Any time you invite the Divine into your home it is a sacred event, and one that is not left unnoticed or unheeded by the Divine aspect. Whether you call them Angels, or Guides, Unseen Helpers, their presence is palpable the moment you open your front door to symbolically let them in. No Angels do not need to come through the door. You understand all parts of the ritual are symbolic. When we open our front door symbolically we are inviting the Divine into our soul. Our homes symbolically represent our souls. The way we live and the way we decorate and clean or not clean or place items in our homes represent how we take care of our souls, so to open our front door and invite Angels into our homes symbolize how we invite the Divine into our hearts. And that Unseen Force notices and comes in. You see, the Divine will never override our own free will. It is necessary to invite the Divine in to experience their presence. It is necessary to honor them with items that symbolize our appreciation for their presence.

The biggest thing I noticed when I invited the Angels in last night was the huge smile from ear to ear that came across my face. I felt such a sense of joy the moment I opened the door. The first time I invited them I felt like a wind through my heart. Others experienced the Divine in different ways. I have had no one tell me that they experienced nothing. I think it is our expectation and our honoring of their presence which makes them feel welcome and opens the door to their presence. My heart flutters even as I write about them ( or it could be that Valentine's Day card my husband just gave  me.). You see, our expressions of love we give to one another are another aspect of the presence of the Divine in action.

Today, show love to one another. Invite the presence of the Divine into your home, your life, your soul. Expect miracles. Expect joy. Expect love. Expect the world to change in an extraordinary way. Every time there is a smile on someone's face there is one less frown in the world.

Thanks to the Angels for the experience of the Divine. In every form. Just for today, I will expect that every person I meet is an aspect of the Divine. No matter what they look like or how they present themselves to me. And I thank the Divine for the opportunity to experience this miracle.

Knight of Swords

I haven't posted any blogs lately relating to the tarot, but my habit is to every day pick a card and contemplate its meaning for me today. Sometimes I will go with the traditional meaning of the card, sometimes I am unsure how it relates to my current situation, and sometimes it is right on the mark. Sometimes it relates to someone else that I may come into contact with, maybe someone who needs some encouragement from me or maybe just to teach me a lesson.

Today I picked the knight of swords. This is a card that is about communication. Swords represent words and communication, but can also signify conflict. In the picture there is a knight speeding ahead on his white horse against a fierce wind. The traditional meaning of this card is that you may be receiving some communication that may come at an unconvenient time, or a boss may be expecting too much from you, something about words, conflict, and how it relates to sudden change but when I contemplated the card the message I got was that now was the time to move forward despite the apparent wind coming against me. The white horse represents purity, indicating to me that my  message is pure, but not without opposition.

The reason I decided to share today from my tarot reading was that in my last blog I had written about surrender. I have been feeling that maybe some of my readers, and myself included, may have been working really hard to make something happen and have experienced doors closing, opposition, or challenges, and that sometimes we just have to surrender our ideas of what we want to manifest to the Universe and say, "okay, I release my ideas of what I think is supposed to happen and open myself up to whatever is best for me at this particular time."

What happens when we surrender is that we open the door for the Universe to work in mysterious ways. And then, when the Universe, (or whatever you choose to call your Source) gives you the okay, then move ahead again. So it seemed to me what happened is when I said, "Ok, Source. I surrender. If you want something to happen then you have to do it", then immediately I get the card that says, "full speed ahead despite the wind, despite the opposition, despite the circumstances!"

The message to me is that surrender is empowering!! I will move when my Source says move and I will stay put when my Source says stay put and sometimes it seems it is a test to see if I am listening.

The other message is that if you are one who looks for signs from the Universe or Source like I do, sometimes the signs don't mean exactly what all the books and traditional interpretations say they mean. Personalize the signs. What does this mean to you? To me today the knight of swords said, "full speed ahead despite the wind!!" This card may mean something completely different to someone else, and, guess what!! We would both be right!!

Just for today, maybe it is time to ask the Universe for a sign and then come up with your own interpretation of what this sign means to you. It may not mean what it always meant before. Or maybe it will. Trust the messages you get. Don't judge the message someone else gets. And we will all arrive at our destination at the perfect time.

Surrender

This morning in my meditation I kept hearing the word "surrender." I have always felt like surrender was a paradox. We have goals. We do things to achieve these goals. We do vision boards. We do affirmations. We take action to make our dreams come true. And then we have to surrender these goals to the Universe?

Sometimes the things we really want to come to pass always seem just beyond our reach. We are always almost there. There is something that always comes up to cause us to take a step back. Two steps forward one step back. We get a little money saved up and then our car breaks down or some such similar thing. We get into a relationship and then that person finds someone else. You know the scenario. We find our dream home and then the financing falls through or someone else puts a contract down first. That is when we have to come to a place of surrender.

When you have done everything in your power to make a certain thing happen, when you have done your affirmations, when you have taken action, when you have meditated and envisioned it happening and then something happens that seems to be the opposite of what you wanted, it is time to surrender. Yes you have plans. You have goals. But there comes a time when the Universe just wants you to say, okay, this is what I want, but I am willing to lay it down for now. I know the Universe has my best interests at heart. I am just going to go with the flow and allow things to unfold as they will. I know that the best will come to me, and I am going to release my feelings about what that best thing is. It doesn't mean that you are giving up. Just take some time to surrender all you want, all you are to the Universe. Sometimes we don't know what is just around the corner. Sometimes it is all about timing. You can't force a flower to bloom in February. You may see a little sprout of a flower poking its head out of the dirt but you cannot make it bloom. If you go outside and start poking and prodding at that little sprout you will only kill it. Surrender.

Surrender is different from giving up. If you are in a place of surrender you are giving to the Universe all your plans and goals and you are releasing your right for what you want to happen in a certain way.

Think about things that you have wanted to happen that seem just beyond your reach. Just for today, give those goals up to the Universe, the Divine, God, Goddess, and say, okay, I surrender. I know that my best good is there for me, I surrender my thoughts and plans of what that best good is. Today I release control.

And then wait and see what happens.