Not the End of the Story

Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the Unicorn Writers Conference in Portland, Connecticut with my good friend Hali.

 I recently finished writing my second book, (or at least I thought I was done writing it) and was looking for my step in the process. The conference was held at San Clements Castle, a magnificent estate, filled with all kinds of picturesque views and fun statues.

At one point in the day, I decided to take a break from the back to back workshops and go outside (it was relatively pleasant that day) to take a breather and connect with the energy of the castle. The message that I received was a great message and I thought that others might benefit from the words of wisdom from my guides.

Let me preface the message with a little background of my life of late.

I get up at 5am Monday through Friday and go to work at the Post Office. After work, I see clients, I write weddings, sometimes (not as much lately with the increase of clients and classes) I post a blog. As you know I have been working on my second book. I have been teaching several classes at two different locations. Oh yes. And I join couples in marriage. The weekend before this past one I went to the beach to participate in a full moon ceremony.

This past weekend it was a weekend writers conference.

So I sat down on one of the concrete walls to breathe and look around at the beauty of the castle. The air was brisk, but invigorating. The sun warmed my face as I took a deep breath and felt the energy of the castle.

"You know,Joy,"  my Guide began, "this castle was not created to be an event location. Even though it is functioning very well in its current capacity, this was not the original intention of the first owners of this land."

Well, yes, I imagine this is true.

"Sometimes, our original intentions do not turn out to be the end result."

This reminds me of one of the philosophies I learned in  my study of shamanism. Don't be attached to having your plans turn out only one way. If you think that the things you are manifesting can only be realized in one way, then you will find yourself stuck.

 Be willing to surrender your plans to Spirit and allow your vision to be manifested in the best possible way for the good of all concerned.

In my thoughts about the castle, I thought about the original owners of the castle and what visions they must have seen for it when they first decided to build it. I wonder if they realized those visions in their lifetime. Over the years, I wonder how many different things the castle might have been used for. I really didn't do my homework and so didn't know much about the history of the castle: how old it was, who were the original owners, how many times it had changed hands, what different events may have occurred here. But I felt that the Spirit of the castle was content with its present duties as an event location. Many weddings occur here. I am sure there are a multitude of various events that the walls of the castle are privy to. My feeling was that the castle was happy with its present state of affairs. (yes, you skeptics, a castle can be happy.)

Since I began writing my second book, a memoir of my spiritual path and how I got from my "previous" life as a born again Christian to my current life as an intuitive, medium, shamanic practitioner, and sometime animal communicator, the message that life does not turn out exactly the way we plan really hits home. No this was not my original intention. My thoughts or expectations of my weekend at the conference did not pan out exactly as I had envisioned.  But I  have to say that Spirit always knows best. Our best laid out plans cannot hold a candle to all the wonderful things that Spirit and perhaps even our own Highest Self envisions for us.

The other "sub" message that Spirit told me was that it was okay to take breaks. I have a tendency to "make hay while the sun is shining." In other words, work work work as long as the opportunity is there. However, at this moment, as I had ditched a workshop to sit out in the sun in this very captivating courtyard, I knew that we all need times when we just breathe.

 We all need to get away from the hustle and bustle of our lives and sit and look at a water fountain, whether any water is coming out of it or not, or perhaps just sit and gaze at a candle, watch a sunset, or sit with the moon. Spirit said to me as I recited aforementioned saying,

"What, do you think the sun is going to stop shining?"

That's very true! If we have the attitude, "make hay while the sun is shining," then subconsciously we are afraid the sun is going to stop shining. The opportunities are going to mysteriously stop coming our way, Spirit is going to go on vacation and leave us hanging, so we better have some sort of back up plan.

Just for today, think about your goals or your visions of your life. Is your life turning out exactly the way you planned or have there been some detours? Has there been some rerouting? I like another saying that goes something like this,

 "life is what happens while we are busy making other plans."

As we head into the new moon on Sunday, let us think about surrendering all of our best laid out plans to Spirit and to our Highest Self. Let us lay aside any expectations that our life or our plans have to turn out in any specific way. Let us be open to surprises. Let us be open to detours. Let us be open to the notion that the there may just be a surprise ending to our story.

Remember this.

Everything always turns out okay in the end. And if isn't okay, it isn't the end.

The Magician

In my meditation this morning I was contemplating my lifetime card, the magician.

Here is a great image for this card, and here is the link to where I found it:http://azurylipfe.deviantart.com/art/Tarot-The-Magician-43841765

This card is all about creating whatever in your life you want to create. I was thinking about the card and my Guides decided to give me a lesson in the art of creating. This is what they said to me:




"Joy, what if you were the greatest magician in the world? And not just one of those illusionists. I mean a real magician. One who uses magic to produce an outcome."


"If you knew that you could do a ritual and cast a spell of some sort and you knew that whatever you intended would come to pass, what would be your mental attitude?

"For one thing, you would not even think of doing the spell over and over in case it did not "take", would you?

"Your thought process would be, simply,... Hmm.. I wonder when it's gonna get here... Not, .. if it's gonna get here, or I wonder if I did anything wrong.. or I wonder if the Great Magician in the Sky heard me..."

"You would probably just go about your business, and expect for whatever you intended to happen to happen."

"You would not even need a contingency plan."

That's what I'm talking about. Expectation. Surrender.

This is the key to why sometimes our intentions, our affirmations, our desires, whatever you want to call them, do not happen. We doubt. We set up a "well, if this doesn't work, then I'll do this..." plan.

So let me ask you. If you could come up with an intention, a desire, a goal, or a request of Spirit, and you knew that you would get whatever you asked for, what would you ask? And after you did ask, what would you do next?

Would you wonder if anyone "heard" the request? Would you ask again? Would you come up with a "plan B," just in case?

No. You wouldn't do any of these things. You would just wait. You might get excited and tell others about what was coming. You might daydream about what it would feel like when the request came to pass. You might make preparations for the event, whatever it is.

There it is.

The reason most of our intentions don't come to pass. We doubt.

Does a pregnant woman doubt that the baby is in there?  Once she has gotten the news, that is it. She is either happy or she is not, but wanting it or not wanting it makes no difference. She doesn't say, hmm, I wonder if the Pregancy God will change his mind and give the baby to someone else. I wonder if I am just imagining things. Do I really want a baby after all? I may have changed my mind. Well, let me tell you. Once the baby is in there, it's in there.

Okay, so, here it is.

What is it that you want? That is the first step.

Once you are really clear about that, then don't look back. Act like it is already here. Imagine yourself doing or being or enjoying whatever it is you have decided to manifest. Don't ask again and again. It is done. There is a field of thought that three is the number of manifestation and that you should do your ritual three times, and if that is the case, then do your ritual three times. But after that, act like it is done. No wishy washy, I wonder if it worked, I wonder if the Manifesting Angel heard me, I wonder if I did the ritual right, I wonder this and I wonder that.

Once you plant that seed, don't go digging up your seeds to see if they are growing.

Just plan for the harvest when it comes.

Just as a woman with child goes out and buys baby clothes and diapers and other baby items before the baby comes, go make your preparations. Get ready for that baby.

I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter I used to like to talk to her in my womb. You might try that with your desires. Talk to your intended manifestation. Tell it how excited you are that it is on its way. Imagine yourself doing or being or enjoying whatever you have desired.

Remember the number rule of manifestation. Harm none. And the number two rule.. you can't override human free will. In other words, you can't manifest a particular person falling in love with you. But you can manifest a relationship. As long as it is mutually beneficial to both parties.

Remember that if you don't know where you are going you are never going to know when you get there. In other words, you have to be clear on what you are manifesting. After that, the sky's the limit!

Now go out there and create your beautiful life!

All About Boundaries

I learned this lesson years ago, but sometimes it seems old lessons come back to see if they have really been learned.

For the sake of anonymity, I am going to share a similar story with the same lesson from several years ago.

I was asked to connect with the soul of a man who was in a coma in California. His wife was beside herself and had not left his side for two weeks, even to go home to shower or sleep. A close relative was concerned for her well being as well as her husband's.

Upon connecting with the husband's soul, I found him in a tunnel of beautiful lights and colors. This was what I perceived to be the tunnel between here and the other side. He was contemplating whether to live or to cross over. I saw snippets of fond memories. I saw him ball room dancing with his wife (I later found out that this is how they met and it was their favorite pastime). I remember having a conversation with his soul and sending him love and light for whatever was best for his soul.

As an aside, if you ask me to pray for someone or to send them healing energy, I never ask that someone be healed or to live. I always send the highest love and light to their soul for whatever is best for their soul at this particular time. Even though we as loved ones may think we know what is best for someone, we don't. If it is best for them that they live, then the healing energy will bring healing. But I do not presume to know what is best.

I felt that I connected with the man's soul but I was not convinced that he had chosen to live. It ended up that he did wake up soon after my journey to his soul. He sat up in bed, connected with his wife, and had a moment of closure with her before he passed.

But this was not really the lesson here. I am sure the wife was beside herself with grief. This is to be expected. However, his soul decided that it was best for his highest path to cross over at that particular time. This is a lesson in boundaries.

Recently I was connecting with the soul of a woman who made known to me a request of a loved one. It seemed to me to be a good idea. At first I was not sure if the idea had come about from the woman or if I had just thought of it while sending her the healing energy. Thinking back I should have known but I will admit that at first I didn't. However, later, the woman's soul asked me to present the idea to her loved one, which I did not do. It came about that the woman ended up making the request herself. The loved one was not on board with the idea but felt guilty for wanting to refuse the request.

Here is the lesson.

 Even if it seems like a decision is a good one, if it is not good for any one of the parties involved in the decision, then it is not a good decision for any of them.

Sometimes we mistakenly think that being a martyr for a loved one is okay. It is not.

Sure it is okay to give up some personal conveniences or preferences sometimes to give of ourselves to others. However, we should give of ourselves from a place of love and the spirit of joy and giving in order for it to be a true gift of love. If we are giving of ourselves from a place of sacrifice, then the gift is not a blessing either for us or for the person to whom we are giving.

For years I stayed in a marriage in which I was miserable. I did it because I felt guilty for breaking up a home simply because I was not happy. I knew that my husband was emotionally and financially unable to cope without me. I mistakenly thought that my happiness was not important, that as long as everyone else was happy, that my own happiness was of no importance.

Guess what. After eighteen years I found myself in a position of realizing that my daughter was learning how to behave as a woman by my example. What kind of example was I giving her? What kind of man was she doomed to choose? One who depended on her for everything or one who treasured her and cocreated a life together with her?

Like I said, if a decision is not best for everyone involved, it is not best for any one of the people involved. In Reiki we learn that what heals one, heals the whole. What hurts one, hurts the whole.

Never think that you have to do something that will benefit someone else if it hurts your soul.

In the end, the decisions we make and the things we do for others will either bless others or it will disempower them. In the case of my unhappy marriage, I had to learn that someone else's happiness is not my responsibility. In the case of the man in the coma, he had to decide that despite the grief that he could feel coming from his wife, his soul was ready to move on to the next adventure.

Today's message from Spirit is this: look at your motivations. Are you giving of yourself from a place of love or some other motivation? Are you sacrificing too much of yourself because that is what you think you are "supposed" to do? Is your service to others coming from a place of love and joy? Is it feeding  your soul or robbing your soul?

If you are contemplating a decision that could affect more than one person, whose benefit are you considering? Are you considering what is best for everyone involved or are you willing to give up your own benefit for someone else? Many times we as parents think it is noble to stay together for our children, as I did, but what I really taught my daughter was that it was okay to be a martyr for someone else and that I was really just postponing the lessons that the other person needed to learn. I taught my daughter that my needs and feelings were not important. That my soul was worth less than his. What are we really teaching our children when we stay together for them?

We are all wonderful, valuable souls. We are all equally important. What is good for one is good for the whole. What is bad for one is bad for the whole.

Just for today, think about what is good for your soul and do something good just for you! It is okay to do something good for someone else, but don't forget to do something good for yourself. You are a beautiful, unique loving individual. You rock! Love yourself! In doing that you love the world.