Many of you know that I have been absent from blogging as of late due to an almost obsession with writing my second book. This book is an attempt to describe my journey so far, from a child raised in mainstream Christianity, fully embracing this belief system for my first thirty five years, and then finding myself in the very uncomfortable position of a complete crisis of faith. Over the next several years I explored many different belief systems and have evolved into what I now affectionately call my "cosmic soup."
The past couple of days I decided to take a hiatus from my writing frenzy and do some soul searching and end of year rituals.
Last year one of the most rewarding rituals was the one where I asked Spirit for a theme for the year, something that would be my "guiding light" for the year.
Spirit gave me the theme "embrace your power."
At first I was uncomfortable with this theme. I was uncomfortable with the connotation of "power." Power seemed to me to be the opposite of humility, a quality which I very much aspired to. I have always asked Spirit for the privilege of being of service, and Spirit has always given me many opportunities. However, I was always under the impression that if I was embracing my power, then I was walking in ego.
This is very much not the case.
What I have learned this past year is that when I am comfortable with who I am, then I am embracing my power. When I am confident in my contribution to the world, then I am embracing my power. If I am not confident in my ability to be of service, then my contribution suffers.
My desire to be of service is dependent upon my deep inner knowing that I indeed have something to contribute, and that what I have to offer has value. So indeed, I have learned to embrace my power.
As this year is concluding, I have contemplated on my theme and asked myself if I truly embraced my power. And I can say that yes, I have and am still learning to do so. I am much more confident in my contribution to the world and I believe that is so key to really being comfortable in our own skin.
So in the past couple of days, I have been connecting with Spirit and asking for my theme for the coming year.
I will admit, that I consulted my cards. Using the tarot and also using simple playing cards, there is a system for mapping out your theme for the year knowing only your birth date. I have done this for clients as well as myself for some time. But, aside from what the cards were telling me, I wanted a personal, straight from Spirit theme for the year.
I got a one word theme this year and the word was grace.
Not your ballerina arabesque kind of grace, not your swan gliding across a lake kind of grace, mind you. Spirit would not take on that kind of a challenge..
I have not run into this word since my church going days.
When I was going to church, grace was a word that was used to describe how God favored us despite our inability to earn his favor. That "you are a sinner but I love you anyway" kind of thing.
To quote Wikipedia:
In Christian theology, grace has been defined as "the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it", "the condescension or benevolence shown by God toward the human race". It is understood by Christians to be a spontaneous gift from God to man - "generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved" - that takes the form of divine favor, love and clemency.
So at first I was not too happy with this theme either. It seems like a good theme, except for this.
I don't believe I am a sinner in need of God's favor. I spent too many years recovering from the shame of needing pardoning from God for sins I did not necessarily even commit. In Christianity, all I had to do was be born in order to fall short of perfection.
I now believe that I am a spark of the Divine, born perfect, having only learned imperfection by the dubious nature of life on earth and all it entails.
Grace is also something I think I need if things are difficult and I need the inner strength to overcome them. Hmmm. Well, my tarot card that is my theme for this coming year is the Chariot, and that description kind of fits. The chariot card is all about overcoming obstacles. Moving ahead despite difficulties.
So what is grace?
Grace, upon reflection, is the ability to handle anything life throws at you with inner strength and fortitude. It is the Divine Spark which lives within my own soul, that inner power which this past year I learned to embrace, giving me the ability to glide through any storm.
Does this mean Spirit is telling me that this coming year I am going to have some storms to face and overcome? Possibly.
We all come to the place where we have challenges to face. That is a part of life. Facing and overcoming them is what makes us strong. Grace gives us the ability to face them with an inner strength which only comes from our connection to whatever we choose to call our Source, or the Divine.
I guess we all could use a good dose of grace.
So what does all this mean for you?
I recommend sometime before the new year that you take a little time and go within. Look back on this past year and see if the year met up with the expectations you put upon it at the beginning of last year. If it did, be grateful. If it did not, be willing to release whatever parts of it did not make your soul sing. Accept the past year for what it was, and release it with gratitude for the joys and the lessons it contained.
I also encourage you to take some time in the coming days to go within and contemplate your theme for this year. And you can't take what you get and send it back and ask for something else.. no send backs. Take what Spirit gives you with gratitude .. and grace.
Give thanks for all the things that you have experienced in this past year that has given you strength within and get ready for a coming year that will be the best you have ever had!!
Remember that expectation is everything! Expect wonderful for this coming year. Take your theme for the year and thank your Source for the grace to take whatever comes with joy.
And get ready for wonderful!!